What’s in store for 2024?

I can’t help myself. Even though I know it’s probably all a load of bunkum, at the beginning of each year I feel obliged to check my horoscope to see what’s in store for me. It’s highly unlikely I will have exactly the same year as one-twelfth of the population, but that doesn’t stop me reading the predictions.

This year was no different. I tried to resist, but in the end I thought it couldn’t hurt to check out The Year Ahead in a popular women’s magazine. What it told me was that this year I will focus on the economic aspects of my life (working out if I have enough money to survive) and I might move house or renovate, or start a new career! Exciting!

To be honest, it says the same thing every year. I’m retired and I haven’t moved house for over 25 years, but you never know, I might start a new career and become rich and famous.

This year I went deeper with my ‘research’ and googled what was in store for people born on January 23 (pathetic I know) and was dismayed to learn that people born on this day are likely to be irritable and hold grudges. I wondered if it was true. I’m certainly irritable (but mainly with one person) but I can confidently say that I’m inclined to give people the benefit of the doubt if they cross me, although I still haven’t forgiven the woman who commented tartly that bringing a cake to a work meeting was ‘quaint’. She will never get to eat another one of my cakes, that’s for sure. But my husband says my ability to empathise is my greatest weakness and my greatest strength, and I’ve always liked to think of myself as a kind person. Perhaps I’m wrong and I’m really horrible?

I also found out that people born on January 23 don’t look after their health and are inclined to be negatively influenced by others (especially people who say they’re a bad person). This wasn’t at all what I was looking for. In truth, I was hoping to learn that this year I’ll experience some kind of creative breakthrough. The universe will smile on me and I’ll have a year of brilliant ideas and an unerring sense of what is right for me and what direction to take. It will be a year of no mistakes, or at least no glaring errors. This will be the year I stop reacting to criticism, anticipating the needs of others, and worrying about what everyone else thinks.

I know no-one can make it happen except me, but wouldn’t it be great if I had a year of joyful success without lifting a finger? Conversely, what would happen if my horoscope said I could do anything I wanted and never fail? Would I believe it, or would negative Nellie prefer to believe I’m irritable and hold on to grudges? Which thought is easier to accept? Which life is easier to imagine?

Every new year has the potential to be a turning point. A time when you focus on what your heart wants, and not what your head tells you to do.

What is your wish for 2024? What are you dreaming of doing or becoming?

Trust yourself

Hello lovely people

I realise that I’ve been circling around the same topic for a while now, so some of you might be getting a bit tired of my musings on “what should I do next?”.

I’m happy to announce that I’ve moved on a bit from this endless questioning of what the future might hold. It’s not that I’ve made any major decisions, I’ve just come to the point where I’m wearing myself out with thinking about where I’ve been and where I’m going. It feels very circular, like I’m caught in a navel-gazing loop, and not very healthy.

I had lunch with a lovely friend this morning and she presented me with a beautiful card and a book of 365 morning meditations. I was really touched at receiving such a thoughtful and well-chosen gift and card. When something like that happens you really feel like the other person understands the real you.

Together we looked up the message for today, so I thought I would share it here as it was particularly apt.

Someday, everything you want and long for will be your reality or a memory. Be present with where you are right now. Think about how far you’ve come and all the things you’ve done to get where you are. Take a moment to be grateful to your past self for wanting and longing for what you have now. Then release your grasp on what you want and long for, and trust that everything comes to you at the right time.

Emily Silva

So if you are feeling a bit lost and uncertain about the future, I hope that you will give yourself the time to just enjoy something in your life today, and trust that tomorrow will bring you joy and happiness.

The friendship cure

I’m currently reading The Friendship Cure by Kate Leaver. I bought it for a friend recently, sight unseen, on the basis of the recommendation in this video which I mentioned in a previous post about self-help books.

I thought I should actually read the book myself, having given a copy to one of my closest friends, and I must say that it’s a delightful book and one that I would love to have written myself (if I wasn’t such a lazy pants). It’s written in that journalistic style that I appreciate because it’s incredibly easy to read but is also very nicely written. Bingo! Everything you need for a great reading experience.

One of my favourite things about the book (to be honest I’ve only read the first three chapters) is that the author is incredibly positive. Not only about friendship, but about life in general. I think that these days we crave writing which celebrates what’s good about humans, rather than all the awful things we see on the telly and in the news.

I know that this book is aimed at readers younger than me as there are frequent references to girlfriends and my friends are definitely women and not girls, but I still appreciate the sentiments in the book. I agree with Kate when she says that she couldn’t live without the friendship of women. Female friendships are the best and I value my friends immensely.

One thing I’ve taken away from the book is that you need to nurture your friendships. I already knew this but I’m not always good at doing this in reality. As a result, Ive been putting a bit of effort into reconnecting with some friends who I haven’t contacted recently and it’s been really wonderful to re-establish our friendships.

Friends can easily slip away if you don’t make an effort, so this is just a gentle reminder to keep in touch with the people that you value.

Start the day right

We have three dogs and a cat so I don’t usually need to set the alarm to get up in the morning, but one day this week I had a particularly early start so my partner set the alarm for 7am. As I lay in bed listening to the news I realised that this was a very depressing way to start the day. None of the news was good. People had been killed in traffic accidents, the economy was in a bad way, and the American with the ridiculous hair was talking on my radio without my permission! How I hate listening to his voice.

I remember reading that people who watch or listen to the news first thing in the morning are much more likely to report that they’ve had a bad day at the end of the day. I really believe that this is true. When I listen to the news first thing in the morning or on the way to work I tend to feel really low all day. I think it frames things for me in a negative way.

A lot has been written about the practice of keeping a gratitude diary and although this type of activity is not quite my cup of tea, I can really see that it would have benefits for many people. The cynical part of my mind is resistant to these type of practices (too new age), but the other part of my mind insists that there’s value in thinking positive thoughts and being generally optimistic about life.

According to the “experts” the trick is to not force yourself to keep a diary every day, but to write things down every few days or perhaps once a week. This seems to be more effective that simply going through the motions for the sake of it.

I would be interested in knowing if any of you have tried keeping a gratitude journal and whether it resulted in you feeling more positive about your life?

 

A little bit of love goes a long way

Sending positive emails to people you care about is amazingly effective. I’m really enjoying the experience and I’m happy to report that not only is it easy, I’ve actually started looking forward to that part of the day.

The emails have to be genuine but they don’t have to be long. So far I’ve emailed a friend that I’d lost contact with (great result), I’ve emailed a work colleague I like and respect to let her know that she’ll be missed when she goes off to start a new role next week. She was so chuffed! I couldn’t believe how such a small gesture meant so much.

I’ve also sent a couple of emails to relatives. Nothing heavy, just a few words to say that I appreciate them. I’ve noticed that it’s also making me feel closer to all the people I care about and much more connected. It’s as though the activity is having positive flow-on effects to all my relationships and making me feel less worried about being vulnerable.

You should try it and see what happens and maybe let me know. I’d be really interested to hear if it works for you.